It Started With a Dare
by Miss Kisharoo
Summary: It's a normal day at Halt's cottage... The birds are tweeting, Abelard is staring at the apple barrel... and Halt is talking to himself. Totally normal, right? Wrong. Somehow, it starts. Halt's gets angry and someone goes through coffee withdrawal. The horses run around everywhere, all because they had too many apples. Next, there's timetravel... and fangirls? What the devil!
1. Prologue P1: Kill All Women

**PROLOGUE PART ONE: Kill All Women**

* * *

"Oh, this is going to be very nice, Abelard. So very nice… Do you know why?"

The ranger horse simply looked up, blinked at his master, and turned to stare at the apple barrel again.

"Because this is going to be a _normal _day. A normal, _relaxing_ day. No one's going to talk to me or eat me out of house and home or somehow – _somehow _– make me busy…"

The maniacal tone caused Abelard to look up and glare at his master, who had suddenly become a lot more interesting than an apple barrel.

"Don't look at me like that, Abelard."

"Neigh?"

"I said don't look at me like that! And don't talk to me like that ei—"

"_Neigh!_"

"Don't interrupt me, Abel—"

"I think he's finally gone mad!"

"I SAID DON'T INTERRUPT ME, ABELARD! Especially when you're actually talking!"

Then it clicked in his mind. _Actually talking?_

Halt whipped around, and as he did, he heard extremely familiar laughter that caused a cold weight of realization to fall into his stomach. He hoped against hope that Abelard had just decided to say more than "neigh" today. He would have even taken going in sane, but, of course, there were three laughing young men before him once he'd turned fully. One was tall, muscular, and black-haired; the next was tall, thin, stubbly, and blonde; and the last was small and fit with a mop of curly brown hair atop his head. There was no doubt about it – these men could only be Horace, Gilan, and Will.

But why? But how?! He thought he'd gotten rid of them!

"What…" Halt's left eye twitched.

"_What_, what?" Will repeated.

"What… what… WHAT THE _DEVIL _ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Halt pressed a hand to his temple and shook his head before continuing in a more level voice, "You were _supposed_ to be lolling around and dilly-dallying all day!"

Will blinked. "It's only Harvest Day—"

"Yes, and you idiots—"

"_Idiots_?"

"_Boys_," Halt corrected himself, "love Harvest Day, so _get back out there_!"

"Well…"

"Well?" Halt repeated.

"We have a very good reason, y'see." Gilan grinned as though the story was to be published, then continued. "We decided to come here…"

At that, Halt felt his blood boil with such intensity that he heard nothing for a full minute and a half. By the time he'd snapped out of it Will was talking, which probably meant that the story had just begun to get interesting.

"…and we still weren't allowed to watch Corn the Giant Cat because…"

Horace interrupted next: "…of that blasted new ticket woman…"

Gilan threw in an uncanny impression of an elderly woman. He put a hand on his hip, scrunched up his face the way he thought an ugly woman would look, and squealed, "You're not a parent, you'll scare the kids!"

Will cut through Horace's angry mumbles, "…so then we had to go with the Alyss, Cassandra, and Jenny, and they were doing some sort of boring shopping stuff and they kept asking us how they looked and wouldn't let us buy food because they needed money for their precious shopping…"

Halt's eye twitched with new intensity. This was typical. Just typical. He was left to babysit these dolts like some personal babysitter… Immediately he began to plot these women's demise, though all of his progress was lost when Gilan yelled, "Now we have to have kids so our lives can be complete!"

Horace looked up, seeming horrified, and began to mutter beneath his breath in a petrified matter. Will and Gilan seemed to enjoy this greatly.

"So, Halt…" Gilan said.

Halt knew that tone. He _knew_ that tone…

"Have any coffee?"

Halt's eye twitched.

"Made lunch yet?" Will asked.

Halt's eye twitched twice.

"Is there anything to do?"

Halt's eye began to twitch at a violent rhythm.

He'd kill those women.

Then again, he was _the_ Ranger Halt… Why not kill all women?

* * *

"Horace, could you pass the honey?"

The knight across from Will looked up, a slight frown on his face, and scooped out what he needed for his coffee before sliding the jar across the table. In reply, Will poked his tongue out juvenilely, looked into the jar, and then, in a sort of aghast squeak, yelled, "That's not enough!"

"Yes it is," Horace argued grumpily.

"Oh really?"

"Yes really."

Will frowned and, after some dramatic scraping, dolloped the honey into his coffee and took a sip. Before it had even come to his mouth he was already making bleching noises. "Gil, find some more!"

Gilan, who was meticulously perfecting his cup of coffee, said, "Well, you're closest to the cupboard, Will. You get it."

"But you're standing, Gil, so you get more."

Immediately Gilan thunked into the nearest seat and said, "Nu-uh" after which silence ensued.

"Well alright then," Will said. "We'll have to settle this like men, then."

"Yeah, I guess we will, _Will_."

They stared each other down in silence, their hands moving as though they were about to flash an obscene hand signal, but instead…

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS… _SHOOT_!"

The two men looked down at the aftermath: Will's hand pointing scissors and Gilan's flat as paper. Triumphantly, Will glared at his friend and pointed to the cupboard. While Gilan, grumbling, went to the cupboard, Will grinned and said, "Booyah."

Then there was an intake of breath from Gilan. Something horrible had happened… and, of course, the boys yelled to the only person who can fix everything.

"HALT!"

He was already in front of them, glaring at Gilan who, like the others, seemed childishly oblivious to the ominous feeling the room. "Yes."

"We're out of honey," Gilan said.

Halt glanced at the honey jar and repeated, in a slightly different tone, "Yes."

"Halt?"

"Yes."

"Can you go buy so—"

"No."

"Wh—"

"No."

"But—"

"No."

"I—"

"No."

"Can I at least say—"

"No."

"Halt, may I please say something?" Gilan asked, clasping his hands together. Halt raised his eyebrows in reply, so he continued. "Can you _please_ buy the honey?"

"Gilan, _tree_."

Like a sad puppy, Gilan obeyed reluctantly and left the cottage, causing Will to burst into hysterical laughter… so hysterical that he ended up spilling coffee all over himself and screaming at the top of his lungs. Turning menacingly, Halt glared at the brown-haired Ranger, his eye twitching again.

"Will, _tree_."

"B-bu—"

"Tree. Highest branch. Now."

"Can I chan—"

"Now or I'll make you strip."

With a squeak, Will stormed out of the cottage with coffee dripping off his front.

Then Halt turned his attention to Horace, who was sitting still as though trying not to be noticed. It didn't work, because seconds later Halt spoke in his foreboding voice.

"Horace, _tree_."

"But I d-didn't do anything…"

"You're annoying me."

At the word "annoying", Horace pushed himself back from his chair just a bit too quickly, and knocking over his chair, tumbling over, and spilling coffee over his face. Screaming and sputtering, he still managed to push himself up and scurry out of the cottage.

"And you had better not get into any trouble, either!" Halt yelled.

But, despite this, he had a feeling that his threat had gone unnoticed.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Look! It's something insane! No, no, this is just for fun and to vent my insanity, not my serious writing, so I hope you enjoyed the craziness. This has all happened thanks to my friend, Ranger-Halt321, who had a random conversation with me on deviantArt. There were fangirls in it and iPads... it was crazy. So, without her, this insane but awesome idea wouldn't have come true! She'll definitely be in this soon! So, if you didn't like this, by the way, then you'd better turn around right now, because it gets worse (or, depending on how you look at it, _better_). Raise your hands if you chose better, too! ...Okay, I'm hyper with sleepiness, so I'm gonna leave now. See ya!

**DISCLAIMER: **I own none of these characters. Do you _think_ I'm Flanaman, making "fanfictions" about his own characters that are really original stories but no one knows that and is pretending to be a _girl_? What a theory. And a good one, at that...


	2. Prologue P2: The Dare of Daringness

**Prologue P2:** **The Dare of Daringness**

* * *

"Auuuugggggghhhh…"

"Mmmmmeeeeehhhhh…"

"SHUT UP!"

"My butt _hurts_…"

"My face… it _burns_…"

"WILL, HORACE, SHUT UP!"

"But I need bandages!" Horace screamed. "My face! My _face_! I have a wife! She'll disown me! I'll never have kids! I want kids! I want to do it again!"

"Horace, stop talking about your personal life!"

"I've got to take off my clothes!" Will yelled. "My shirt BURNS! It burns so bad I'm gonna become a nudist!"

Gilan made a squeaking noise. "I'm climbing as fast as I can! Don't take off your clothes! Don't take them off!"

"BLISTERS! I FEEL BLISTERS! _BLISTERS!_ BLISTERS ON MY FACE!" Horace shrieked. "Graybeard Halt, why have thou forsaken thee?!"

"HORACE, SHUT UP!"

"Auuuugggggghhhh…"

"Mmmmmeeeeehhhhh…"

"WILL, YOU SHUT UP!"

"Gil…" Will squeaked.

"What?" Gilan asked, frowning and climbing higher. Why did Will have to be on the top branch?

"Gil, I feel blisters… on my ba—"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT THOSE BODY PARTS!"

Horace banged his head on a branch below Gilan. "I'm gonna throw up."

"Well don't!"

"I have to… or I'll be ugly forever… FOREVER!" Horace wailed.

"Horace," Gilan snapped, pulling himself onto the branch nearest to Will, "if you don't shut the freak up I'll cut your face off, make a soup with it, and have adorable babies with your wife!"

Horace gasped loudly. "You _can't_."

"I can."

The knight made a nervous sound before vomiting over the side of the branch. Rolling his eyes, Gilan looked up towards Will with a roll of bandages… only to see the young ranger stripping.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"IT _BURNS_!"

* * *

With a sigh, Gilan sprawled himself on a tree branch, his legs dangling off the edges, and stared at the chimney of Halt's cottage. Smoke sprouted from the chimney, sending a roar of hunger through his stomach. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine coffee in front of him, and began to fall asleep…

"G-Gil? What happened?" Will asked sleepily. "Why's my shirt on backwards?"

"You said your clothes were burning so you stripped."

Gilan could imagine Will with his mouth wide open and that "what in Sam hills" look on his face, though his eyes were closed.

"Gil?" Horace muttered. "Why am I so hungry? Why are there bandages on my face?"

"You were talking about doing it and you threw up."

Gilan could also imagine Horace's incredulous, horrified expression.

"By _it_… do you mean…"

"Yes, Horace. That _it_."

Horace made a squeaking noise below Gilan before murmuring, "Are you sure we didn't eat anything with alcohol in it?"

"Yes," Gilan groaned dully, "but we couldn't channel our childishness through Corn the Giant Cat, and that was our downfall."

"That sounds depressing," Will commented.

"The world is depressing," Gilan yelped, clasping his hands to his head, "without COFFEE!" He burst into tears and sobbed dramatically into his cloak. "HALT, GIVE ME MY COFFEE! GIVE ME MY COFFEE OR I'LL KILL MYSELF! KILL MYSELF! _KILL MYSELF!_"

"Why did you say that three times?" Horace grunted.

But it was too late. Gilan had already jumped down his branch, landed on Horace's back, and rolled onto the ground, holding his bow at ready. "I'LL KILL MYSELF! KILL MYSELF! KILL MYSELF! K_ILL MYSELF!_"

"Uh oh," Will said. "He's gone from saying it three times to four."

"I'LL KILL MYSELF! KILL MYSELF! KILL MYSELF! KILL MYSELF! _KILL MYSELF!_"

"Oh poop," Will sighed. "Now he's gone to five. Now he's going to start saying—"

"I'LL KILL YOU! KILL YOU! KILL MYSELF! KILL YOU! BWAAAAHAHAHAAA!"

Horace and Will, glancing at each other once, jumped down from the tree and began to approach their friend. Suddenly, though, Gilan turned on them, brandishing his Saxe knife, and yelled, "KILL YOU! AAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHA!"

"We need a plan," Horace whispered, but he said nothing else, apparently waiting for the Ranger to act first. Will rolled his eyes and began to take off his shirt.

Gilan blinked at them, a maniacal glint in his eyes, and then grinned. "I knew it!" he yelled. "I knew there was something going on between you two!"

"W-what?!" Horace screamed at the top of his lungs, looking between Will to Gilan. "This is your plan?"

For a long time, Will didn't answer, but finally he gave a grin and shook his shirt in front of him. "No, this is." He pointed to the brown stains on his shirt, then flapped it around in front of Gilan, who seemed to smell the aroma of coffee like a dog. The other ranger pounced at Will's shirt, but, like a bull, missed. Gilan screamed and charged again, but this time Will had a plan – he chucked the shirt towards the stables where Abelard, Blaze, Kicker, and Tug were watching their masters dubiously.

In seconds, Gilan had jumped into the stables and was sucking on Will's shirt, uncaring as Horace and Will locked him in. The two warriors watched Gilan gnawing on the shirt, Will shivering and shirtless in the autumn breeze, Horace just looking as though he didn't know what was happening. Finally, Gilan reacted, but when he did the shirt was stainless and there was drool going down the sides of his mouth.

"We should get Gilan to do our laundry," Will jibed with a chuckle, although the humor of the situation was suddenly lost.

"More," Gilan demanded, and Will and Horace looked at one another nervously. There _was_ no more coffee. "MORE!"

"Uh, Gil…"

Gilan wailed to the heavens, sending the horses rearing, and sobbed piteously into Will's shirt.

_God, _Will thought, _he's like Alyss on PMS._

"GIVE ME MY COFFEE OR I'LL KILL MYSELF!"

There it was again, and seconds later Gilan was trying to clamber over the fence. There was only one way to stop this…

"Don't get out."

"Why not?"

"Because… because, Gilan, I dare you. But it's not just any dare. This is…"

Horace gasped and Gilan put a hand over his mouth.

"…THE DARE OF DARINGNESS!"

Gilan immediately dropped back into the stable, his eyes wide, his mouth agape. It certainly helped that no one knew what the Dare of Daringness actually was…

"Come on, Horace," Will murmured. "We need to get Halt. This is an emergency."

"Is it a kick down the door emergency?" Horace asked excitedly, and Will nodded briskly. At that, the knight ran up to the door and kicked it forcefully, sending the door swinging on its rusty hinges.

"Halt, it's an emergency!"

The grizzled old ranger turned around – only to see Will half-naked and Horace flailing all over the place in a mixture of excitement and pain. What in the world…

"G-Gilan's having PMS!"

Halt rose his eyebrows even higher at Will.

"I mean coffee withdrawal! _Coffee withdrawal_!"

The senior ranger's eyes widened. "You didn't, by any chance, leave him with the horses, did you?"

"Yeah, we did—"

Halt was gone by the time Will had said "yeah", and, confused, the two boys followed, Horace hopping around on one foot.

Absolute chaos reined outside – a spilled barrel of apples, a few munching horses, and one running about everywhere, kicking and jumping.

Halt was yelling, "WHY DID YOU FEED THEM TO MY HORSE?!"

Gilan, on the other hand, was sobbing, "I wanted Abelard to be happy. Happiness! HAPPINESS!"

In a few seconds, all of the horses were kicking and jumping all over the place, and the sound of Gilan's voice rose from the chaos: "BE HAPPY, MY PETS! BE HAPPY!" The voice was suddenly warped, and as quickly as that the horse disappeared completely.

Will could only stare, aghast, at where his friends had been. Even more so, the horses were all disappearing as they chewed on their apples. The last one was Tug, and a split second decision was made. The shirtless ranger grabbed onto his horse's tail and grabbed Horace by the hair, and as they warped the sound of a braying horse and a screaming knight filled the limbo.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ***coughs and forces voice to sound deep* WHAAAATTT will happen next?! Will Halt continue to be half-insane? Of course! Will Gilan continue to be incompetent? Definitely! Will Horace get angry at Will? Certainly! Will Horace and Will kiss?! ...No, no they won't. But there will be some crazy fangirls (who, by the way, will not make something romantic come, so don't worry about that fangirl thing)! And who will they be based off of? You'll find out soon enough! *swooshes away*

**DISCLAIMER: **Blah blah blah not mine blah blah poop.


	3. Chapter 1: The Happiest Day?

**Chapter One: The Happiest Day?**

* * *

_"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"_

Screaming at the tops of their lungs, Will and Horace rocketed through limbo. It was a rainbow-y place, blinding and almost hypnotizing, and filled with smiling and flying snickerdoodles, and as quickly it was there it was gone. With limbo's disappearance, two young men appeared high in the sky.

"Tug, help us!" Will shrieked, waving his hands about as his body fell to its descent. He grabbed for his horse hopefully, but Tug was already gone, gliding through the sky and neighing gaily. Will, still hanging on to Horace's hair with his right hand, pulled his best friend close. "Well, I guess this is… this is it."

"Yeah, I guess it is," Horace answered thoughtfully. Will waited for the knight to continue, but nothing more was said, which caused the ranger to glare daggers at his friend as they cascaded down.

"Is that _it_?" Will asked, pulling Horace's hair in his anger. "We're about to die, and all you say is 'Yeah, it is' in that dopy voice of yours?! Well, then!"

"You're the one who's _pulling my hair_!" Horace yelled in reply, raising his left hand and punching his friend's face. Soon a full-fledged fight was happening in the crystal clear sky… when suddenly the knight stopped, seeming to think better of it. "Are we really going to let it end this way, Will?"

"No… we aren't," Will decided, pulling his friend into a hug – again by his hair.

"STOP THAT!"

"I FORGOT!"

And, with that, the ground rushed up to Will and his world went black after a faint thud. He was dead, he was certain of that. There was no _way _that anyone could live after a fall of 100 feet, not even a famous ranger. It was ironic, he thought. An acclaimed warrior dead from a fall and a weird coincidence… but, Will realized suddenly, he could still feel Horace's hair in his grip.

_It must be Heaven, _he thought, unhanding Horace and looking down at him. "Horace? I'm sorry for pulling your hair. And I'm sorry that our lives couldn't have been longer."

The warrior pulled his face out of the unusually soft surface and smiled a grim smile. "It's alright, Will. Everything will be fine."

The two of them smiled happily and hugged again.

"Ahhhhhh, Hora-kun, Willie-kun, you're gonna make me cry!"

The two men blinked in confusion and turned their heads, and just as they did their eyes met those of a teenage girl. Her eyes were chocolate brown, her skin was the color of mild coffee, and a curly ponytail sprouted from her head. Not only that, but there was also a black contraption surrounding her eyes, adding a slight glint to them.

"Will?" Horace muttered, staring at the girl with wide eyes. "I think it's an alien."

"There's no such thing as aliens, Horace," the ranger answered, though his voice held a bit of doubt. "I'm sure that there is a perfectly logical expl—"

The girl squealed at the top of her lungs when Will moved. She stared, wide-eyed, at the young ranger's stomach. He was shirtless. He was irresistible. Her eyes glittering with a fangirl's delight, she tackled Will and kissed his forehead passionately. "Your hair! Your beautiful hair! It's so _fluffy_, Willie-kun!" She fluffed up his hair and began to snuggle up against him. "I've been waiting _years_ for this day. And finally, just like how I'd imagined it, you popped _right out of the sky_. My God, I _must_ tweet this—"

Her attention was diverted suddenly, and she looked at the black-haired warrior beside Will. "HORACE! OH MY GOD, I FORGOT ABOUT YOU! I'M SO SORRY!"

Squeeing, the girl tackled Horace and sniffed his armor, then poked his muscles excitedly and experimentally. "You're _here_! In the flesh! Ooooooooooohhhhhh my gosh! Oooooohhhh my gosh! I must call Kitlii! I _must call Kitlii_!"

She dove a hand into her pocket and retrieved some sort of weapon, one that was slender and emitted music and voices. Then she pressed her face to the weapon and spoke to it. "Yes, yes! I really touched his muscles, really! He's shirtless, Kitlii, really! If my calculations are correct, Halt and Gilan should be some— NO! HALT IS MINE! HE'S FRICKIN MINE! I GET TO HUG HIM FIRST, SO DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM! IF YOU TOUCH HIM I'LL KILL YOU! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU GET GILAN! END OF STORY!" She tapped a button on the weapon and the noises silenced. Suddenly, though, as if she remembered something, the girl made more voices return to the phone. "Oh, and Kitlii-san, I'm gonna send you a picture of me kissing Willie-Willie and Hora-Hora! Ciao!"

_This girl is bipolar!_ Will thought frantically, his eyes wide.

"Come on, Willie-kun, Hora-kun, let's take a picture!" The girl squeaked excitedly and held up her slender weapon. She began to touch the button on the screen, but suddenly she dropped it and began to flail about. "I-I touched Will's muscles and sniffed Horace's armor. For real. This isn't a… a dream…"

She blinked and looked at the two shocked warriors beside her, then shrieked at the top of her lungs. "THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! THIS IS THE _HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!_"

With that, Will grabbed Horace by the hair and began dragging him away from the girl. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"Now they're running from me!" the girl squealed. "Oh my goooosssshhhh that happens in my fanfiction! Oh _my_ _GOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH_!"

And, with that, the girl fainted.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **That is totally not me. Totally not me. ...Totally not me. Totally. Um. See ya.

**DISCLAIMER: **Oh my goooosssshhhh! No character here, besides the crazy girl, is mine, but oh my goooossshhh I wish Halty-Halty was mine!


	4. AN: Dearest Followers

Life is just a killer, isn't it? I'd know. Well, this is an author's note from your author (me). Life has just bit me in the rear yet again. Currently, I'm in a challenge that I need to finish (for myself) that won't be done until March 4th, 2014. It's a fanfiction challenge, and, paired with my life and other writings, it is going to make me _extremely _busy and stressed. Thus, I'm putting all fanfics on a hold. Well, not a hold, but on the backburner, and I'm telling you guys this because my updates will not be coming as quickly. That does not mean that I won't post until March 4th of next year. It simply means that my updates will come sluggishly until I finish my current projects, and I felt that I should tell you this. I apologize!

But when I come back, I hope to post two chapters to make it up to you all.

Thank you so much for waiting this long. Please stay with me until I can start posting like you ask!

- Kishy :)


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